White Castle Hamburgers a strange Story

(1965, the dating Game)


The road of the past was hard and smooth for the old man, a little dusty too, and early in the morning the old man sat in his easy chair trying to figure out a new short story to write, anyone, on anything would do from the far past—he had been dry for an idea on what to write. Perhaps a story, he said one before he was a soldier, and had traveled far away across the seas, something that provoked his Irish wits. When he was young, before he started all his traveling and something he’d imagine he’d never do again; He looked outside his window; there was the snow caped mountain, “White Mountain,” and those snowy mountains alongside White Mountain. Then Sid came to mind, a friend whom he had doubled with when he dated back in his teens. A good old pal, he had died at the early age of nineteen-years old, a car accident, but up to that time, they had a lot of fun together. “Oh, yes” he said aloud, remembering now what lead up to the circumstances at the White Castle Hamburger café… “Quite so,” he murmured to himself, picking up his pen, as to start his first sentence… “That’s it...!” he concluded, he had it now—the picture of the events, the plot, the theme, the conclusion, although there was no insight to be given out on this so called… narration, more of an account than a unfolding of events, but a risky one, it wouldn’t leave him in a light should someone figure out it was more fact than fiction…he remembered:

he rode through the city with his friend Sid in his 1955-dodge his parents had bought for him, through the crowed city he drove, to meet a blind date. It was Friday night. And the moon appeared to him to be rising and falling, he had a few drinks, he was seventeen-years old, they both, Lee and Sid were seventeen-years old. Sid drove outside of the city where there were open fields and hidden roads, Sid with his part time girlfriend Eva, and Lee, with his blind date, Barbara, with her bronze Italian skin, and dark thick hair, they sat still in the backseat.
“Well,” said Lee, “do you like what you see or not?” She, Barbara turned a little pale in the face, surprised he was so forthright. Against the side of the car were thick and high trees, they could not be seen from the distant highway (Highway 36).
“Yes,” she said, “I like what I see!” He moved her over to the corner of the car, “Will you be uncomfortable here?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” she remarked.
“Sid seems not to be wasting any time up front there,” said Lee, he was making out with Eva. Lee put his hand on Barb’s shoulder.
“You can start kissing me if you want,” said Barb, nearly two-years younger than Lee.
He shook his head, “Sure!”
“What did Lee say Barb?” asked Eva.
“That you and Sid started making out already!”
“Isn’t he observant!” said Eva.
“How do you like it out here?” asked Sid to Lee, opening up a can of beer.
Lee looked out the side of the car, somewhat blocked by a tree. “Well, I don’t mind it I guess,” Sid replied—“except it’s along ride back if we both get too drunk.”
The woods were dark; the road had left the highway about a mile behind them, the radiator was hot and boiling, Sid had to turn the car off, it was fall and a chill was in the air as well as in the car now. Eva looked annoyingly and suspiciously at the sounds the radiator was making, the engine silent now, “I hope we can make it back safely,” she said.
“Certainly,” Sid said.
Eva wore a short skirt and a loose blouse and a light leather jacket. She leaned forward against Sid, pushed her breasts against him, and smiled. She smiled seemingly on both sides of her face, because it was clear to Lee as she turned the good side toward him. She had a charm and a good side of her face that always smiled, even when she wasn’t trying to smile. Her nose was small, and it looked very cold and firm he thought, taking good notice in her.
“You like me don’t you Lee?” she asked.
“He adores you, and so do I,” said Sid, “now let him and Barb make- out (and she stroked her hair).”
“Tell Lee, Barb we have to go; I think Sid’s a misogynist, he took a bite out of my ear!”
“That’s an accidental love kiss…” Sid told her.
“Will you shut your mouth and take me home?” she asked. Sid went silent.
“Lee, will you get us out of here?” she was mad.
“Will you stop quarreling; let’s go Sid and take them both to their homes, so we can get drunk on our own, in peace and quiet.”


Two Weeks Later

Eva called Lee up asked to go out with him and they are now looking about for a place to eat…Lee stops at a White Castle Hamburger Café…


“I’m not Italian, my family and I am from Bucharest,” said Eva to Lee as they stopped at an outdoor hamburger place, called ‘White Castle.’
“I’m glad I’m with you and not with Sid!” remarked Eva.
“I don’t know why you say that?” said Lee.
“He’s dull…and irritating!” the young woman said.
“You talking about Sid as dull, he was trying to be with you, what did you expect from him?”
“Lovely place, couldn’t you find me a better place to eat?” Lee had ordered several White Castle hamburgers (you know those little things that take three bites and they’re gone).
“Oh, no. You eat them, I don’t want them.” Said Eva, as the hamburgers were brought to the car, and Lee pulled out a few for her.
“Ah,” said Lee, to the young woman, “here take at least one, I paid for them, I can’t eat them all!”
“No…you don’t understand,” said Eva.
“You want to pay the bill?” said Lee.
“Oh no, but listen, I want to go home,” she said.
“Every time you don’t get your way you want to go home,” said Lee.
“You can amuse yourself by yourself, I said take me home!”
“Just eat a hamburger or two, and in a little while I’ll take you home,” said Lee.
“Listen,” said Eva, “don’t bother to ask me again. I tell you these hamburgers are awful.”
Lee took a hamburger out of the bag, handed it to Eva, “Eat it!” he demanded.
“No!” she repeated.
“Well,” he said, as he waited with the hamburger in the open palm of his hand for her to take, which she would not take, “Jerk,” she called him.
It started to rain, a few cars drove by them watching them quarrel.
“SMASH!—Smack!” the open hamburger in the palm of Lee’s hand somehow jumped by impulse out of his hand right smack into her face.
“Well, see,” said Lee, “you did eat it…somewhat!”
“Oh, yes…you son…of…! She started to say, holding back the last part of the word.
Finally they both could see eye to eye.
“It’s gone now, I’ll take you home.” The hamburger was all over her face, on her dress and partly on the floor.
“Oh you’ve been gone a long time,” she said in a hateful voice. “I’d walk home but it’s raining,” she added.
She wiped the remaining parts of the hamburger off her face and skirt, and Lee took her home. The following day, he called Barb up for another date, hoping it would end up better than with Eva.

No: 511 (11-2-2009)•